caution: insects in mouth are grosser than they appear.

Alright, I promised you a run update, but I’m not sure this is what you had in mind. Here’s a snapshot of my training schedule for the last few days:

Saturday: 3 miles (loop)
Sunday: REST or Cross-Train (and by “Cross-Train” I mean nap)
Monday: 9 miles (out-and-back)
Tuesday: See Sunday

My mom was visiting on Saturday, so I wanted to get out and do my run early so it would be done and over with and we could get on to more important things like our mani/pedi appointments and ice cream. Priorities, people.

The run was going great: I was feeling strong and fast(er than a turtle). All was right in the world. Until mile two.

When my mouth met the business end of this*:

 *Disclaimer: yes, I realize this is a cute little cartoon bug and not a real bug. I am doing what is necessary to work past this traumatic experience, including denial and distortion of reality. Don’t burst my bubble, guys. 

Let’s be honest, if you spend a lot of time running, you’re going to spend a lot of time with bugs in your mouth. It’s just a fact of life. I would love to be one of those runners who can go along cheerily with their heads high and their mouths closed. But alas – I am not.

I am the runner gasping for breath, mouth open for maximum oxygen intake, and tongue lolling out. Because the mouth hanging open isn’t quite classy enough by itself.

So what was different this time, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you what was different:

That cute little cartoon bug flew in and perched himself directly onto my GAG REFLEX. He wouldn’t go down. And he wouldn’t come out. He was like an unwanted house guest that has drank all of your beer, used all the hot water, and refuses to leave.

Lucky for me, the Garmin watch has a pause button because dry heaving on the side of the road really has a way of killing your pace.

Ah, the life of a runner. So glamourous. So full of excitement.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post where I update you on the mulligan I had to call on that
9 mile run I mentioned above. Hint: I blame a most unfortunate wardrobe malfunction.

In summary, I have “9 mile run do-over” on today’s To-Do list. Right next to “Nap at lunchtime”.

Have you ever swallowed a bug? I’d love to hear from you!

13 thoughts on “caution: insects in mouth are grosser than they appear.

  1. I hate swallowing a bug, but what I hate even more is inhaling them. I’ve got these massive gnat-clouds I have to run through when it’s cool and damp out, and there’s no way not to end up with some of them inside my nose or mouth. And “hold your breath while running” isn’t exactly the best idea in the world.

  2. I’m just now eating my breakfast and glad there is not raisins in the cereal or I would be checking each one out! I already heard the story and it still gives me the creeps….
    Have not heard the 9 mile run do-over so I’ll look forward to that story. xoxo Mom

  3. Eew yucky. Gives me more excuses not to run 😉 Just kidding, I need to run big time. Protein-bugs in the mouth and all. I wonder how many bugs a runner has eaten in their lifetime? I’d say I hate a good 2-3 flies a year at least when I used to play soccer. Good lord that’s gross.

    • If it makes you feel any better, I think I read one time that the average person swallows about 7 spiders a year in their sleep. I can tell you this: I am DEFINITELY not giving up my sleep. No sir.

  4. btw, not raining here. come to the lake in july….which day(s) would you like? kid friendly, weather not promised

  5. Running always looks so amazing when other people do it but I never considered bugs in my mouth. Now I’m rethinking ever attempting a marathon!

  6. A ladybug flew into my glass of water & I didn’t realize it had. I did notice something was stuck to my tooth, so I did that thing we do with our tongues to get it off, and Ewwww! Plbbbbtttttttttttt! YUCK!!!! I discovered that one of the cutest insects is also one of the bitterest (most bitter?) things ever. It’s their defense against predators & unwitting water drinkers. All beverages should be covered when outdoors!

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