It’s official. We are headed Back to Life. Back to Reality. And this version isn’t nearly as catchy as the popular 80’s song.
The good news is that we have had a really wonderful vacation and have made it safely onto U.S. soil. I started writing this post when we arrived at the San Francisco airport from Amsterdam (you might recall from this post how fond we are of extended layovers – this one was just a brief little 5 hours, though. Hardly enough time to eat a good meal, cruise every Hudson News shop we see and stop by the restroom 4-10 times.)
Our internal clocks are all topsy-turvy, but I am hell-bent on resetting myself to Pacific Standard Time, so I figured, what better way to keep myself awake than by updating my blog?*
*Disclaimer: if my post has the opposite affect on you, apologies in advance.*
*Disclaimer for the disclamier: if this sleep-deprived post is littered with typos and grammatical errors, apologies in advance.
Since today has just been a lah-de-da travel-home day, I thought I could either give you A) in-flight movie reviews (Contraband = thumb’s up; Young Adult = meh) or B) a few random tidbits that didn’t make the cut in previous posts.
Let’s go with Option B, shall we?
Tidbit #1: If you ever find yourself looking around a hotel pool area and see a little button on the wall that is in close proximity to the pool, resist your overwhelming urge to push the button until you’ve had a chance to survey the area, paying particularly close attention to the ceiling.
If there is something that looks suspiciously like a shower-head directly above your own head, it probably is a shower-head.
I can neither confirm nor deny that this information is brought to you by firsthand experience.
Tidbit #2: Resist the urge to argue with people on the street asking you for money, even if you are 100% certain their logic is flawed. Here’s a totally for-example-only scenario:
You are minding your own business in Amsterdam, casually looking at a map with no agenda or direction other than to stroll around and see the sights with your loved one.
You are approached by a friendly man who asks if he can help and before waiting for a reply, proceeds to point out every sight in the city in painstaking detail.
You smile and nod and try to casually move along.
He then chooses this opportunity to ask you for any spare coins you might have.
You answer honestly, that no, you do not have any coins (the truth is, you give to charities throughout the year but donating the 50 euro bill in your pocket to this overzealous tour guide was not in your gameplan).
Before huffing off, he yells, “Thanks for the LIES! You’ll pay for them in HEAVEN!”
RESIST THE URGE TO ARGUE!
There is nothing to be gained by informing him that it would more likely be HELL where lies would be paid for but, thank God (literally) our sins are forgiven so we should be all set in that department, if indeed we had been lying.
I mean honestly, if you make it all the way to the Pearly Gates, I really doubt you’d be turned away for something like this, but again, this fellow was holding firm to his convictions, so why protest?
Smile and nod. Casually move along.
Tidbit #3: If you are planning to surprise your father-in-law, an avid gardener and lover of all things plant-like, with some really cool tulip bulbs for Father’s Day – brought straight from the Tulip Capital of the World – be sure to know all the ins and outs of transporting live plant matter.
Do NOT assume that just because they let you bring tulips to the U.S. from the Tulip Capital of the World a few years ago that the same rules apply today.
Alternate plan: LIE*
*Disclaimer: see Tidbit #2 above. We don’t really roll that way, even if we would normally get a hall-pass from the Big Guy Upstairs.
So, dear father-in-law, if you happen to be reading this, here is a really cool picture I took of some tulip bulbs that you will not be getting for Father’s Day:
There may or may not be a garden in the general San Francisco Bay area that is prospering from our loss. I really don’t know how contraband works in The System.
Tidbit #4: A child that weighs 50 pounds while awake feels like at least double that when dead asleep and slung over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
Our mini traveler has been such an amazing sport, taking every plane, train, ferry and automobile ride in stride. At 4pm, in the middle of the San Fran airport, Gate 20, she finally succumbed to her sleepiness.
We boarded the plane at 4:30. She did not wake up.
We buckled her in. She did not wake up.
For the entire flight home, she did not wake up.
John hauled her off the plane, through the Sea-Tac airport, onto a tram, up elevators, down elevators, through baggage claim, outside into the windy cold, into a taxi, through town, out of the taxi, into our car, through town, onto a ferry, across Puget Sound, off the ferry, to our house. I brought her in, took off shoes, changed her into clean jammies, quick stop at the potty. And she did not wake up through any of this.
Stay tuned. The exciting conclusion to this mini-drama may just be tomorrow’s blog post.
In summary, I am certain I should be starting my next to-do list. And I am definitely going to jump right on that. Tomorrow morning. Noon at the very latest.
What’s your favorite drink from the in-flight beverage cart? I always get ginger ale and I have no idea why. I’d love to hear from you!