the airport. as seen from an 8-hour layover.

Well, friends. Our European Vacation is officially underway. To get this party started right, we had the unique opportunity to get an in-depth, 8-hour look at the lovely Vancouver, BC airport.

Trust me, I’m not complaining. Things could definitely have been worse. At the risk of offending anyone, I won’t mention any specific airports by name, but let’s just say that some of them are not called “the armpits of America” by accident.

With my lack of journalism experience and ill-equipped camera footage, who better than yours truly to give a comprehensive review of the goings-on in this bustling international hub?

No offense taken if you realize your mistake and quietly step away. You’ve been forewarned.

For those hearty souls that are still with me, I bring you, “What To Do For An Entire Day at The Vancouver, BC Airport”:

You can……

…take pictures with your camera of miniature tourists holding their cameras. It’s very artsy. Very abstract.

….charter a boat. For an 8-hour tour.

…consume adult beverages at inappropriate times of the day.*

*Disclaimer: it was 5:00 somewhere.

…get a geography lesson with your lunch menu. Very helpful when traveling to foreign places.

…catch a few zzzz’s. I am 100% certain this was due to our 4:30am wake-up call and definitely NOT our 2-for-1 margaritas.

(This one had chocolate milk, not a margarita. Don’t report us.)

…find buried treasure.

…and then proceed to lose it all as quickly as you found it.

…meet new friends.

…buy all kinds of useful souvenirs before you even reach your destination.

…have custom luggage made in the exact replica of your offspring.

…blow your diet in a rainbow of colorful ways.

…feel right at home. Every few hundred feet.

…cross a thing or two off that growing to-do list.

…get into a zen state of mind, focusing on your Happy Place.

…pretend you are an international spy on a top-secret mission.

…have your child help subsidize your vacation by fishing for pennies in the wishing pond.*

*Disclaimer: I didn’t really have her fish for pennies. The quarters had a much higher ROI.

At 4:00 pm, we bid adieu to the airport. Ah, so many fond memories. We laughed, we cried. We learned new things. We had time to ponder our belly buttons. But, alas, all good things must eventually come to an end.

Last but not least, a visual from my yet-to-be-published book titled, “How To Travel Like a Neurotic Germaphobe”:

Behold – The Crib Sheet Airplane Seat Cover.

I know your only regret is that you’ve waited this long to try it. Trust me, you’ll never go back.

In summary, I left my to-do list in the airport bathroom. For the next 10 days I’m going to pretend I had everything checked off. I’ll keep you posted on how that works out.

Got any travel tips of your own? I’d love to hear from you!

10 thoughts on “the airport. as seen from an 8-hour layover.

  1. Hahaah!! Okay -so sorry for the 8 hour layover, but this was classic. Almost as classic as the crib sheet seat covers! The maple butter looks dee-lish. Travel tips – hmmm, I always have the best equipped carry on bag of snacks/mini games/mini DVD/sweatshirt etc. If I have to be stranded, I want to be entertained 😉

    Have a magical time! I can’t wait to see the pictures!

  2. I wouldn’t mind being stranded with all of you, Julie’s well equipped bag of stuff and an open jar of maple butter – and being in a fun airport seemed to help! Love the pics and blog…xoxo Mom Have an awesome time!

  3. As a fellow germaphobe, I am amazed and in awe of the seat covers. Please send me the recipe for that little gem of a travel tip! We always just carry massive amounts of bleach wipes for the creepy sears. Never feels quite sufficient. My husband (the founding father of germaphobes) will be eternally grateful. Have a brat and a beer for us while in Deutschland. Auf wiedersein fräulein.

      • Ha! Couldn’t be easier, my friend: just bring the boys’ old fitted crib sheets, wrap them around your seat back (making sure not to cover the passenger’s tray table or TV screen that is sitting behind you) and tuck the excess into the crease of the seat. Voila! Instant germ barrier. You’re welcome!

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